Hangovers, Cockroaches, and KTV

I have never been more nervous and excited for anything ever. I remember elementary school being absolutely thrilled to start school. Then as I got older the feeling switched to dread. Being responsible creeped back in the window and I couldn't go out and have fun as I pleased. University of course I loved. Once I joined the sorority I was in the lopsided balance of work and play. Mostly play.

      It's like starting your first adult job. As many times as you give into the temptation of getting bombed on a work night, yin and yang. You're going to pay for it and spend the day fighting back the urge to vomit in front of authority. But I think I'll be okay. After years in the food industry, (and coming in hungover), I figured out how pregnant women feel when they are sensitive to certain smells. At Panera Bread the smell of eggs cooking was the most foul, stomach churning thing you could imagine. At Wegmans, even freshly baked cookies were not always appealing.

     This week has has it's twists. Speaking of hangovers. I learned my lesson years ago but apparently not well enough. When I first moved to Florida I went to a friends dorm near mine and we started doing these giant shots of whiskey. Like quad shots. I had just graduated college so my sense of my tolerance was quite high. Not for the next day. I didn't realise just how much one is dehydrated in that heat. I woke up with a hangover most wicked. It took effort to lift a finger and when I did it was like being hit with a tsunami sized wave of nausea. This went on for about two days. After much coconut water, Gatorade, and BRAT diet I recovered. (Bananas, Rice, Apples, Toast)

    So I find myself living in the tropics again. In Shenzhen and I presume in much of China street bbq's pop up all over the city at night. They are delicious and cheap, however high risk high reward. You can get a plate of bbq meat, veggies, and a bottle of beer for 30RMB. In USD this is about $5. So over consumption happens, frequently.

    I am all moved into my apartment. It is strange not having all of my CITA friends right outside my door but it is nice to be able to explore the city. It gives me a stronger sense of independence. When I first saw my apartment I felt like I was in a tropical oasis. There was a pharmacy, grocery store, dumpling restaurant, convenience store, fruit stands, street bbqs, and a bubble tea shop. Ten minute walk from two metro stations. It was an on pointe living situation.

   Now when I moved to China I was not worried about culture shock, food, food poisoning, not having friends. Just cockroaches. I am absolutely petrified of them. I got all moved into my apartment and did not see a single one. I returned from dinner with some teachers and went to use my bathroom. Behind the door handle was a cockroach the size of my index finger. I let out a shriek and turned toward the wall and saw one hiding behind the toilet. I looked at the floor, babies. This was my nightmare. I will be completely honest to say that I hyperventilated like a coward until the door popped open and I could escape. I went back into my room where I thought I was safe. I looked at the washer and dryer. Four more. Looked at my floor, one crawling near my nightstand. I messaged my friend. "This is your initiation into womanhood" she said. Dammit why couldn't it have been a menstrual cycle? I killed four and called it a night. I was brought some poison powder and now I sweep up about four a day.

   I had my first KTV experience. I found out about them when I was researching China. They are wildly popular in the East. Essentially they are private karaoke rooms by the hour with booze and snacks. I cannot understand why the West has not fully caught on. I don't want to watch strangers embarrass themselves while trying to sing. One Halloween I watched this morbidly obese woman raunchily dance around the bar singing Divinyls "I Touch Myself", immediately following a man who was completely sloshed trying to sing "Friends in Low Places." He sang about five words, made a fucking mess spilling his beer and knocked equipment over. I will never get to unsee these moments. That is why America needs more KTV's.

  I have not had so much fun in a long time. I sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart", "Can you Feel the Love Tonight?", and others.

Chinese amusement parks, more park than amusements

     I am lucky to have not experienced much culture shock after my first week in Asia. However I do often find things peculiar and when I do I photograph them and share them with you. My experience yesterday was unmatched. Part of our training is team building activities, our leaders took us to a Chinese amusement park called OCT East. I am not sure how this place could qualify for amusements, but certainly for a park. It had about four rides, lots of restaurants and shops, and it was built into the side of a fucking mountain. Expect charlie horses.

          I went with some friends on a wooden rollercoaster, gives your brain a good shake. It was not so much the queue or the ride, but the walk up. I have never walked up such a steep hill in my life. It could have been a 60 degree incline for probably half a mile. And it was hot.

         

          Right after that nonsense was over we went on a gondola to get lunch. I would not recommend this gondola to anyone with a fear of heights. It went over MORE MOUNTAINS. And felt a little bit rickety. I once rode in the Gateway Arch in Missouri. That did not end well. I made myself look like a complete idiot because we were in this dark cage that swung back  and fourth as we made our way up. Here is me circa 2011 in the Gateway Arch. (On a side note I was somehow perfectly fine on the Carrick a Rede in Ireland).

  

       Speaking of fear of heights. I don't know how anyone can stomach this one. 

But anyways after lunch we went to the bar in the park. I find it very disappointing that China does not have much of a microbrewing culture. But this park had  German microbrews. 

After a few we ditched the park and went to a Chinese beach. Now let me tell you, the photos you have seen of these beaches are real. I have never been to such a crowded beach in my entire life. There were people, bamboo mats, and umbrellas covering every inch. Also people were not in typical beach dress. Most of the girls were in dressy dresses or clubbing clothes. The women were in business attire. And everyone I kid you not had a floatie. And the lifeguard was on a jetski.

I was also pulled into what could have been a viral marketing campaign. I don’t really know. I was in a sea of people with matching teeshirts and doing a chant with a pose. There were TV cameras, an announcer and a microphone. I’m going to be online somewhere. Hopefully it is not propaganda.

After the theme park I had Sunday Funday with my fellow teachers at a street bbq across the street from the hotel. It definitely reminded me of all the Sundays I spent drinking alfresco with Christine and Faith at home. It was quite lovely. 

A Week in Review

It is officially my first week in China. I am loving it. I have already experienced so many things that I never imagined and am so exited for the year ahead of me. 

      The past week I have had training every day from 9-3. In the free time I have made friends with some of the other teachers and we go explore the city. The city was actually something I was very concerned about. I come from a driving city with mediocre public transportation. Erie is also so small you can go from one end to the other in about 45 minutes. Shenzhen is like three NYC's. I was feeling like somewhat of an ant. 

   I learned how to use the metro to get places and it is surprisingly easy. The metro is in English, Chinese, and Cantonese.  Almost 100% of the time the main attractions are right at the metro exit. There was even an exit that opened into a mall. That was neat. My first time riding it I went to an athletic shop for my yogi supplies. I was getting really wound up at the prospect of learning my sense of direction in a giant city, where I don't speak the language. Quite frightening. To add to that my phone has not been working here. Who would have thought that China would be strictly GSM? Not me! I purchased a SIM card for my phone and I can only get voice on it, no data. I am really not keen on the idea of not being able to access maps when I am lost.

      More on the yogi supplies. Typically when I see mats, blocks and towels at home they are in the range of $35-70 for a good one. I went to a store called Decathlon here and spent the equivalent of $22 American dollars for the best mat in the store, a carrying bag, and a block. I feel like I practically walked off with it. I also found this excellent website where you can download free audio yoga practices. I of course jumped on that opportunity and now I can do my morning yoga, it’s quite nice.

          What I really wanted to share today was some of street adventures, in pictures. I have spent many afternoons and evenings just walking the city and trying to become better acquainted with the Bao’an district.

Here is a typical lunch in the hotel I am currently staying in. I think it is a pepper cream chicken, kelp salad, dragon fruit, and some watermelon. Watermelon is wildly popular here. You can get it from street vendors and walk around with it.

     Here are a few signs I found odd and amusing. After working in cellular and following mobile news I am more than aware of the tensions and possible hatred between Samsung and Apple. Well the rules apparently don’t apply here.

 

          One night when I went walking we found an outdoor market with tons and tons of street BBQ. Street BBQ is absolutely delicious by the way. However it is high risk high reward. Shenzhen is very close to the equator making it blistering hot outside. The BBQ carts leave the meat out in the heat, and it seems to be fine. Last night I had the most delicious garlic eggplant, a spicy chicken kebab, mushrooms, onions, and cabbage. I was also quite intoxicated, which made it even more delicious. What I found particularly neat about the street BBQ is they pop up at night and have all sorts of tables and chairs and you can just eat right on the street. They also serve beer too. I don’t believe there is any sort of licensing or open container policy here. I walked down the street drinking my Pabst Blue Ribbon and nobody seemed to notice or care.

   I have also taken a liking to photographing bad English, and odd products sold in the stores. Here is a picture of MSG powder and a hair salon.

  

         

          I do feel somewhat guilty at times for snickering at the bad English shirts. They just don’t know how wrong they are. However, I think the owner of this wifi is well aware of the title.

         

          Another wildly popular item here is the mooncake. I tried one and was not impressed. It is a cake soaked in honey or some sort of sweet syrup and then filled with duck egg yolk. I bit into one and the honey cake was quite good, but the egg yolk did not appeal. It was very salty and somewhat questionable being that it was an egg that was just sitting out in the heat for maybe months.

          Here is an occasion where I really wished I spoke Chinese. The night I went to buy my yoga mat etc my group and I missed dinner at the hotel so we went out to eat. Luckily, almost every restaurant here has a picture menu. I have become accustomed to pointing to the menu have been just fine. On this particular occasion I pointed to what looked like chicken thighs with rice and broccoli. When my food arrived I realized that they were not thighs, no. Chicken feet. I tried them anyways (when in Rome) and did not like them. They were very bony and mostly fat. This is another food where I don’t quite get the appeal.

          On Thursday we had a short day of training so I went with my friends to find our schools. Mine is in an absolutely ideal location. Picture a narrow pedestrian street filled with shops that fulfill all of your needs. There is a salon, a grocery store, a convenience store, little restaurants, and a boba tea shop.There were also lots of trees and it was quite shaded. Heaven on Earth. Also right outside of the neighborhood is a main road and five minutes walking down that road is a giant mall. Needless to say, my friends were jealous.

          So far here I have not been able to find sweets. Yes they do exist, but not the sugar bombs you can find in the states. Even the chocolate is mild. I have been satisfying my craving with ice cream. It is difficult to binge eat single serve items that take significant effort to get. I went to a McDonalds inside the mall near my school and found green tea ice cream. Did not do the job for my sweet tooth, but it was good.

          During this day I also went out and got some school supplies. I bought a notebook to use as a planner. I bought it specifically for the bad spelling. 

Around town for the first time

      Yesterday I began my teacher training and did a bit of venturing out. I have never lived in a city so developing a sense of direction is going to pose a bit of a challenge. I walked in total about three miles. I was determined to find a yoga mat and blocks. I did not find either of these. I also was determined to find some boba or milk tea. I did find this at a little open air place called Sesame Street. The name obviously invoked my interest.

      After this venture I found a little market that sold various dried meats, vegetables, seafood, and stinky tofu. I have never seen live shrimp before, or any outdoor market like this one so I took some pictures. Keep in mind how narrow the walkways are, people were riding their bikes all throughout the market.

      I am still absolutely determined to find my yogi supplies. One of the teachers offered to take me to the sporting goods store this weekend. So I think my chances are good. 

       This week I am supposed to get my Chinese SIM card, a bank account, and my residence permit. I am especially excited for my residence permit because I will be able to go to Macau, Hong Kong, Thailand, and anywhere I please in Asia. It is hard to believe that the adventure is just starting.

     Today I'll take some pictures of the food to add to here. Chinese food in America is nothing like what is served here. I find the food delicious though. Most of it is spicy, even the breakfast is spicy. 

Planes, Planes, and Airport Queues

    Well I have finally arrived. The journey was long and I don't even know how long I was awake in total. On my flight to Beijing I watched five movies. Philomena, Blue Jasmine, The Book Thief, Frozen, and The Dead Poets Society. Solid choices.
     
      When I arrived in Beijing I had a hell of a time finding my way around. I finally figured it out and found my gate and a convenience store. I tried a jasmine tea which was delicious. On the plane I was the only white girl and was extremely lucky that the stewardesses spoke some English. I was able to get my plan meal and another tea.

      I came to several realizations
1. Why the hell did I not learn some basic Mandarin before coming? I remember at Disney when guests did not know English and how some were agressive, because they expected me to understand, and others were like meek puppies who just smiled at everything. I was the meek puppy. People have been asking me questions in elevators, the airport, and the streets and I just smile back. And they look at me confused.

2. Until I meet the other teachers I am on my own. I am getting very thirsty so I will have to venture out to find a convenience store and just hope for the best.

    Breakfast this morning was savory. I has lo mein noodles, kin chi, dim sum, and a rice porridge. All delicious but I need some caffeine, and water. The water here is not drinkable so I have to use a bottled water to brush my teeth and anytime I want a drink.

      Today I am going to venture out and buy some water bottles. I also need to figure out lunch/dinner. I plan on spending most of my afternoon practicing my Mandarin.

I took some pictures from outside my hotel room. The second one is a little market.

Five over layover...followed by more waiting

        Last night I was naturally too excited to sleep so when my alarm sounded at 3:45AM I sprung out of bed with a jolt of energy. Who needs sleep when you're going on an adventure?

        I have done much air traveling in my life having family in Panama City, Panama. So nuances such as navigating the airport, getting to my gate on time, and traveling alone are not among my worries. It is more "How do I piss away five hours of time and still entertain myself on a 14 hour flight?" I am still struggling to find the answer to that question. I arrived in Detroit, Michigan airport at about 7AM and will not board for Beijing until 11:45AM. I have already walked all around concourse A, perused the gift shops, and selected a spot to have lunch. All before 9:00 AM; I'm done for. I actually stopped walking because I probably looked shifty or insane to airport security. "Why is this girl walking in circles for hours, huge circles?" Another huge disadvantage of getting to Detroit so early is that practically none of the shops are open. No duty free booze, no overpriced lotions and potions, and all the restaurants are still serving their grease-laden breakfasts.


        Here is an irrational pet peeve I have when traveling alone, my seat. When traveling with friends I could care less. If I fall asleep on them, what does it matter? The prospect of being stuffed next to total strangers is not my cup of tea. Especially when the plane is small, or the person next to me smells terrible or is spilling into my seat. On my flight this morning the man sitting next to was spilling into my seat to where I was stuffed against the window the entire duration of the flight (30 minutes). He also smelled like expired aftershave and cheap toothpaste. FLYING NIGHTMARE! My brain was spinning, "What if the same thing happens on my way to Beijing?". "Thirty minutes was rough, what will happen if I have to tolerate such an inconvenience for 14 HOURS?!". Luckily I am armed with an Ayn Rand book and enough sleeping pills to put down a small animal.

       On a lighter note the airport is a fabulous place to people watch, now it is no Wal-Mart or carny-fest, but still quite good. When I arrived I found my gate, located right next to an at the time closed Starbucks. I could not tell you the number of people who were under the impression that no other coffee existed because this location was closed. The first world is a tough place. Now the line at Starbucks is so long I wouldn't wait in it even if I was desperate for coffee.

      Well it is time to seek some new entertainment. I only have to burn an hour and a half till I can get a salad from Chilis.

I'm moving across the world....in 12 hours

I'm moving across the world, in twelve hours. I cannot believe I am embarking on this journey. I know the experience will forever change my life.

         Firstly, let me tell you how I reached this catharsis. Where I live in Erie, PA the job market is shit. Options for a college grad are limited to selling Cutco knives in peoples' homes aka marketing, selling sketchy life insurance in peoples' homes, or fast/food restaurant industry. HOW ENTHRALLING! I paid my dues in selling phones to angry Verizon customers as well as making food for rude people at Panera Bread. I had really had enough. I knew this town was a dead end and if I wanted a marketing job or a job that could support me and anyone else who comes along, I had to move. But why jump into grownup life, I'm not married, dating anyone, and I don't have children. What was really stopping me from doing some traveling before life picked up the pace and got in the way.

        I looked into volunteering abroad; and to be honest it was not my cup of tea. Call me a brat but I need modern amenities. My phone, tablet, books,camera, electricity, and running water. I also enjoy showering regularly. Volunteering was not for me.

        I turned to au pair. Sounded glamorous. Play with little kids all day and in my free time explore foreign countries, learn a new language, and experience family life abroad. I was almost set until my friend told me of some au pair horror stories. It was a 50/50 chance that I was not willing to take.

        I finally settled on teaching English. English teachers are in high demand in Asia right now. They paid well enough and I would get to be in a part of the world I never imagined I would see, for an entire year. I went through all the interviewing, TEFL, and contract processes and set my arrival date.

        I regret to say that my decision did not go over well with the family. Their attitude was almost dissuasive. Why can't you find a job here? Well, they are non-existent. Why do you want to go there? Because I was offered four different professional jobs in one week, finally somebody sees I'm special. Isn't it dangerous? Actually it's much safer, harsher punishment for crimes. What if you get sold into human traffiking? I have equal chances of that happening to me in Erie, seeing as how it is a worldwide problem. Why don't you like Erie? Not even going to answer that one.

        To be quite frank I was so stressed out the past few days because I like to do things last minute. My work visa arrived yesterday and I started packing today. To alleviate some of my excess energy I went to a yoga class and then today I ran four miles at the Peninsula.

        So here I am twelve hours before departure. I am somewhat nervous but more excited than anything about starting the greatest adventure of my life. I have so many plans for when I get over there to travel, try new foods, learn some mandarin (got an app for that), go to yoga classes, and be truly on my own.
I'll try my best to write a few times a week and post lots of pictures of what I am up to. Well readers, the journey is about to begin!

PS- I'll be living in Shenzhen, China. Right near Hong Kong.