New Years Mantras

           No resolutions for me this year. Because who actually keeps up with them? The classic gym membership that you use for a month. Books you purchase and never read. And don't forget the half finished or not even started projects. After many years of doing all the above, I think it is time to switch gears and try something new.

          Last year I vowed to be disciplined about going to the gym. That lasted till about mid January when my social life was too much of a distraction and impeded on my gym time. Discipline only goes so far. This year I refuse to set foot in a gym unless I am on a guest pass. Too often I found myself people watching. I also had friends there who I would chat with and suddenly an hour had passed and I had to get home and get stuff done. I also was lazy to where if my favorite quiz show was not on the TV's I had no desire to go on the elliptical, first world problems.

          I have found in the past year that mantras serve me much better than goals. They are a non-specific focal point. They allow for flexibility without excuses. They encourage discipline without being too hard on oneself. Most importantly they calm the mind during a frenzy and help you to breathe through daily challenges.


So with no further ado here are my 2015 mantras:


1. Stay in the present moment- Too often we are thinking about future events or dwelling on the past. Both are stressful and emotionally straining. If your mind is focused on either of these you can't fully enjoy what is in front of you.


2. Honor where you are- You many not be where you want to be financially, weight, romantically, career, or emotionally. Honor the fact that you are working toward these things even if they have not occurred yet. Everything is a process.


3. You are enough - Stop wishing for attributes that you do not possess. If you were more or less of something you would not be truly yourself. People think you are special. Embrace your unique self.

A slice of life, how sweet

          I have come to the realization, or perhaps I knew it all along. It is this: I can only take so many pictures of nights out for dinner, KTV, and clubbing before my blog's motif becomes dull. I hinted at some articles on my day to day life. Here they come.

        In actuality my life here is not as eventful as one would expect. Once you have lived in a place for awhile you find ways to make it your home. Once you have settled into your work and free time flow not much else will happen. I don't see it as negative, I think I would be exhausted if I were constantly looking for new things to do. If someone told me 5 years ago that I would wake up early on Saturdays and go to a yoga class then for coffee with a friend, I probably wouldn't believe them. It sounds idealized. But it is my life, and it's beautiful.

      Is that wrong of me to not be out experiencing things all the time? I don't think so. I have my bucket list of places and things in Asia, China, and Shenzhen I would like to do. But rushing to accomplish everything will only render me exhausted. It is important that  during the colorful blur of life that you take time to pause. I imagine not pausing to enjoy life's moments as that psychedelic boat scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the original). An overwhelming amount of stimuli that begins as a visual splendor but quickly turns to over stimulation and mania.

             Last night was my  first Friday going out in at least a month. I have been taking my Friday nights to pause. I have a couple of friends over and we watch movies or bake cookies. Quite frankly it has been lovely. I would have it no other way. Some of my friendships here have become much stronger because of it. I don't think it is the passage of time, but that we are taking time the same time to pause.

         Instead of rushing out of my village like I usually do, the other day I took in the scenery. Anyone who has come to visit has said my neighborhood is very lively. There are always tons of street vendors selling clothes, roasted chestnuts, grilled sausage, and a few street BBQ places. I think the vendors are my favorite part. They will also be the demise of my diet.

        I only know him as "Bread Man." He makes these fried dough discs filled with seasoned pork. I used to go so often he once told me in Chinese, "You didn't come yesterday." Yeah, I didn't come yesterday because these are delicious and bad for me.

    I also have dim sum cart right outside of my school. Like less than 100ft away. I think in one week I tried every dim sum the cart had to offer. Most of them were sweet, durian or taro flavored. There was one savory one, which was the only disappointing one so far.

     Fried squid cart. I pass this every time I walk to the metro to go to exercise class and return. They can be difficult to resist, but they take like 7 minutes to cook so I just breeze by. "Ain't nobody got time for that."

     Next is the naan bread cart. This one I find quite fascinating. He has an oven under his cart with a small opening. He rolls out the raw dough and reaches his hand sans mitt into the oven and sticks the dough to the side. He removes it in the same way.  I can't imagine his pain tolerance to burns from doing this. 

      Then there are the soup stands. Right next to the stand are baskets of vegetables you can pick out. They cook the vegetables in this giant pot of broth. I usually load up on bean sprouts, cabbage, mushrooms, and cilantro. The soup is topped with some greens, always delicious, and relatively guilt free. It is just vegetables and broth right?

         There was a song that said, "Sometimes we save the best for last." Duh! I saved my favorite street eat for last. Street BBQ or  烧烤 (shao kao) is easily the list topper in the foods I crave when I am drunk off cheap Chinese beer. I like it sober too. But be warned, it is a double edged sword. I hear plenty of stories about food poisoning, but not enough to stop me from going .

      It is a cooler filled with skewered meats and vegetables. You fill up your basket and hand it to the person grilling. When you try it for the first time your McDouble  and fries just won't measure up anymore. 

  

  I am going to miss this eggplant. It is must have for me. And by must have I mean I don't like to share. I plan on figuring out this recipe and impressing my American friends. It seems to be just garlic, green onions, and chilis roasted to stringy gooey perfection.

 

         I had to get my picture taken to remember going to street BBQ. On this particular occasion I was sober and introducing my friends to street BBQ for the first time.
     

Process, everything is process, a work in progress

               One of my good friends once told me, "Everything in life is a process, just as you finish one another is beginning or has already started. Maybe it began and you were unaware. Take everything one day at a time. A process can't be rushed."

            It can be applied to the simplest of things. You cannot force flour to be a cake without going through every step. You can't force a ball of yarn to be a sweater without first knowing how to knit, and the actual knitting. An old wives tale I find to be true is watching water won't make it boil. (I have zero patience for this, thank God for electric kettles).

          However in other areas of your life other than domestic skills it is important to have patience. Arriving at an answer is not an immediate gratification. Otherwise we would all be on a guided tour. Back to the watching water boil. Like watching a pot of water on the stove, I've come to notice that diligently watching and timing things wont make them happen.

        If you have been an avid reader of my blog, first I love you, and second you probably remember the posts about my lack of Chinese when I arrived. I would listen to my friends speak with such grace and precision and wonder when the hell I would be able to do that. People would teach me phrases when we were out and about and I would repeat them ad nauseam only to forget them 5 minutes later. I am not sure when it happened, but the moment I stopped thinking about where I wasn't with the language I was able to string sentences together. I am hoping the confused looks I get are because they are surprised I can speak Chinese, not "What the hell are you trying to say?"

        I can't say it enough but I am really enjoying these Chinese yoga classes. I needed some yoga drill sergeants to improve. If I've noticed one thing from the classes its that if it isn't challenging it won't change you. I also have come to notice, not sure if it is true, that if you aren't corrected on things when you're wrong your growth can be hindered. I am so proud of myself for mastering headstand, one of those crazy tricks I put on a pedestal. Even as I was learning I couldn't stick the pose till I thought about the process, not the product. And if I rushed into it I would painfully tumble forward. Patience is really a virtue, and in this case, a dodged neck injury.

         I'll be frank. I am not currently at my ideal weight and it is nobody's fault but my own. Beer specials, midnight breakfast, wing night, and bubble tea will creep up on you. Well I decided to make a change and not eat so poorly, Netflix binge, and get my ass running again. What was stopping me? Horribly painful shin splints that would only go away after a few weeks of diligence. I did not enjoy a single minute of toughing through it, it was like scaling an endless mountain of charlie horses and broken glass in your shins. Processes can't be rushed, they need to be seen as what exists between point A and B,because teleporting would be too easy. I was recently having one of those hormonal days when you feel like the sky is falling, ladies you know? My friend told me, "Once you stop thinking about getting to your goal weight, it will come off so quickly." Very true, I stopped paying attention to it a few weeks ago and noticed  I can run two miles without wheezing again.

     I would say I don't typically enjoy the stretch between A and B. However this time around I have come to appreciate it a lot more. Every process, every work in progress, if I can remember the in between I can appreciate the end result a lot more and stay curious for what is ahead.