This was one of the first pieces of advice I was given when I arrived. What I find the most curious about this statement is how obvious, yet under appreciated it is. Living in another culture,one should adapt to the customs. Not just adapt but embrace them and make them part of your life. When I arrived in China I was a bit perplexed by some of the customs, to where I was not sure if I would stand out even more as a foreigner if I tried them. But, when in Rome (or China).
1. Chopsticks - I was pretty blessed to know how to use these upon arrival. I used to have a sushi habit, so using them came quite natural. I imagine if I had not been the sushi connoisseur that I was, I would have a lot of cold food or be very hungry. At the very first staff meal they were quite impressed that I could use chopsticks and it was that extra pat on the back that told me, "You're going to be great here!" I recently went to a Western restaurant and was handed a fork and a knife. For a moment I forgot what I was doing. Even when handed a spoon for soup I hesitate. After a month I find chopsticks much easier to use, even if my hands occasionally cramp.
2. Umbrellas as parasols- I know my skin will always be olive. But carrying a parasol has a certain old-fashioned appeal for me. In high-school I was in a production of "Hello Dolly", and you bet we used parasols. During the turn of the century they were considered elegant. Women used them mostly as a symbol of status, but also to shade themselves from the sun. Here they are used as a sun shield, but also because it can rain at any given moment. I mostly use mine for the rain, but occasionally sun. Even when I am in yoga pants and a pub shirt I can pretend for a moment that I'm fancy as I open my parasol. Then I remember, my outfit speaks otherwise.
3. The cheesiest hair accessories in existence- I say this out of adoration. The more gaudy and feminine the better when it comes to hair accessories. At home it was difficult to find obnoxious hair accessories that weren't for a child or punk rock. Neither really match my persona. Here I can walk down the street and find a street vendor selling giant bows with pearls, sparkles, and polka dots, headbands with floral prints, and every shade of pastel for hair clips. I have restrained myself from purchasing any because once I do I will buy too many of them.
4. Meat with bones- I love cooking. I view it as a very marketable domestic skill. I used to spend an extra hour removing bones from the chicken or pork I purchased from the supermarket. Because who wants their meal to have bones? Well, here the bones are left in. They add a lot of flavor to the food. It is also perfectly acceptable to spit them out and set them on the table or a small plate. Being raised to have perfect table manners I was aghast at this practice. I would discretely put them in a napkin because I felt like I was being so rude. I finally got over this and now I spit them out naturally. My comfort level did not stop there. I recently had a dinner party where I served Thai coconut curry. I saw my supermarket chicken filled with bones and thought, "Fuck it! If it isn't rude why spend the extra time cutting out bones?" My guests didn't seem to mind, because well, it's acceptable . I am fully expecting some reverse culture shock on this one.
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